It's Not About Being Right




Let me air some dirty laundry for you.

This weekend, we were down to one car. If you saw my post on Friday, you'd know the front end of our truck got a little crunched, and it was currently being fixed. Wyatt had a giant "honey do" list this weekend, and I told him it was likely I'd just go do something with my mom if I needed to do anything.

I stayed home, he went off to Lowes, the auto parts store, and so on and so forth.

Mom calls to go to lunch and do some fun things (like Pier One shopping!) and I head out the door with her!

All is good and well, right?

I receive a call at lunch. Then another call. Then another call. Then a text, then another text. I finally look down and it's Wyatt. I was happily in mom-land bliss at lunch, so quickly text him "Hello" and put my phone back down.

Fast forward to leaving lunch, I look down and see another missed call. So, I call back.

On the other end is a barky husband, asking where I was, why I didn't answer, what I was doing, so on and so forth. I have to admit, I hung up on him. I was busy, I didn't have time for an attitude, I was headed to Pier One!

Fast forward to the end of the day. I get home after being with my mom, he gets home from his day and neither of us are very happy with each other, to say the least. 

In my mind, I had told him I would likely be with my mom if I left the house, I had been at lunch and didn't want to interrupt my time with her and called him back at a more opportune time. I felt angry that I had called back to such hostility, and felt justified in hanging up on him.

In his mind, he had come home to clothes and makeup all over, no wife, no note letting him know where I was, and most especially, he kept saying that whenever we are together, at lunch, or otherwise, I usually have my phone glued to me and I never mind interrupting my time with him to answer a call.

Hello, miscommunication. What a classic example of two brains working two completely different ways, resulting in two outcomes over the same situation. 

It took a bit, but the final result was that he was hurt, I was hurt, and we both felt right.

And guess what? Sometimes, most especially in marriage, you have to give up your feeling of "right". You have to let go of justification. You have to step outside your box, to not only try and understand the other person, but to let how that person feels be more important than your own feelings in certain moments.

I wish I could say that our lesson is learned, although I'm sure in the future miscommunication will happen again. Hurt will happen again, and I am so glad I've got someone who will work to figure it out with me.


6 comments :

  1. Pretty lady, I had to chuckle when reading this because I'm pretty sure this same thing as happened to my hubby and me several times! It's important to remember that these miscommunications are normal, and as long as we always know that we are on the same team, it will always get worked out!

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    1. I guess I like to look at it as the best lessons I will ever learn! As long as I'm always becoming a better person through our marriage, that's all I can ask for, right?

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  2. I love how honest this post is. It's so easy to look past how your significant other feels when all you can think of is how you feel! This happens to me all the time. I've found that putting myself in my boyfriend's shoes helps a lot and generally talking it out.

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    1. It is so easy to do that! Most especially when you are upset. It sounds like you and your boyfriend have it well figured out!

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  3. This is SO funny - (well, not funny), but made me smile ONLY because it sounds like a fight Ryan and I have over and over annnd over again. Miscommunication is a killer! I'm glad we aren't the only ones having these silly little (completely pointless) fights. Very good outlook - easier said than done most of the time!

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    1. Jess- it's a fun rollercoaster huh? You guys are definitely not the only ones and luckily there is always a giant support system out there who has gone through all the same stuff we do!

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